It’s easy to fall back on what we know, what we grew up with, even when we know what we really want for our children is different. But how has that been working for you? If you feel at peace with the ease of "what you know", then you’re okay. Easy is great when it’s connected to your sense of truth. If you’re suffering inside, then easy will become the messy or traumatic challenges to face later.
Cultivate your power.
Be the spiritual warrior you were meant to be.
Dig deep and do your part.
Our Earth needs more fresh air to breathe!
Here is one of my favorite third chakra kundalini yoga kriyas to help you develop your personal power and act on your meaningful life: Advanced Abdominal &Navel Strengthening. Sat Nam!
On more than one occasion, when my children were toddlers, I would ask our pediatrician specific questions to which he would answer, "You're the mom, you know best."
“Ummmm, YOU are the doctor. What the *$@! did I come to you for?”
While I didn't say this out loud, I do remember thinking "Whaaaat?" I was confused! My next thought was a mental pleading, “Please, please just tell me what to do. Please”. Yet, all that came out of my mouth was, "I know but do I know best?"
He was certain, but why wasn’t I?
After awhile, spending some time being a bit pissed off at my useless doctor*, I calmed down and tried. To know best.
First of all, I specifically picked this doctor because he was pro-breastfeeding and generally a parent-supporting doctor, meaning he supported your decisions even if they were off the mainstream medical trail. But I didn’t pick this doctor so that he can tell me to go get my own answers. Seriously, how the *&@! was I supposed to know what to do, especially when facing challenges I couldn't have even imagined previous to becoming a mom. Unless you have an experienced child expert living with you, you can’t have all the answers……. Can you?
The answer? Yes, yes you can.
It’s the most annoying answer in the world but it’s true: the child expert is living within you. The problem is, this expert isn’t always answering your questions, or even listening. As a parent, your job is to learn how to access this inner wisdom when you need help. Furthermore, to learn how to cultivate trust and confidence in this voice.
You can gain perspective by reading parenting help books and blogs or attending parenting workshops, meetings or playdates. But in order to strengthen your relationship with your personal child expert, you need more than perspective and knowledge. You need a clear connection. It’s like calling your very own 311 operator for helpful information from your current and ancestral life’s experiences who knows exactly how you want to raise your child, what variety of experiences informs your decisions, and whether to go right or left.
To establish a clear connection with your personal child expert, you start by learning to connect with your breath and to quiet your mind. Remove the static so you can begin to hear. Use simple tools to practice keeping this connection open and learn how to trust by taking action. Through experience and cultivating this relationship, you will find that you are able to respond to situations as a confident, decisive parent.
Get to know your inner guide and it’ll take you down a path that will not only help you parent better but will help you to BE better. A whole human being…. that happens to be an amazing parent.
I use my connection with my own personal child expert as well as my experiences as a certified kundalini yoga instructor and mom to empower parents to listen to and trust that voice inside of us. Through coaching, meditation and practice your own personal child expert will grow in confidence, as will your faith in your abilities to be that parent you always dreamed you would be.
Contact me today to schedule your complimentary 15 minute consultation.
The Parent Elevator - raising healthy, happy parents
*Note: my doctor was amazing and gave me the first step towards believing in myself. He essentially lifted up parents to trust in themselves even if that meant he saw his patients less. So grateful for people like this.
This Age you will all serve is an Age of Awareness, an Age of Experience. This transition to that Age began in the Piscean Age. The Piscean motto was: "I want to know. I need to learn." The Aquarian motto is: "I know. I want to experience." You will have to deliver experience to everyone. And you must deliver the experience to your self each day. That is Sadhana, and for that we have a technique.
I typically enjoy engaging in deep discussions about religion-- often with like-minded friends but sometimes not. I see the hypocrisy within so much of organized religion, particularly as people are trying to espouse the reasons why their religion is right and others are wrong. Why is it so hard to accept that there is one God to whom we all connect in our own ways?
Honestly, I do have more extensive beliefs on the matter but, generally speaking, if you find the connection and it serves your higher Self, bless you and may Peace and Abundance fill you and the world around you!
The crux of the matter is not about who's right or wrong or how you grew up or what your parents or other external influences want you to believe or even how it has shaped your life thus far. It is about "the experience".
I meditate and do my kundalini yoga to prepare for deeper meditations in order to be more connected with the Universe and feel stronger, aligned, inspired and more clear. I know it works because I experience the transformative effects on my body, heart and mind--and the feeling of pure bliss. I experience the changes in my ability to hold equanimity throughout my days and the sensation of "not reacting" (detachment) and compassion.
Does your spiritual belief give you the experience of peace, joy and bliss? Of abundance? Of Oneness with others, with our Universe? If you're not sure what "experience" I am speaking of, you may need to shift your focus and delve deeper. Once you've experienced "the experience", the spiritual high and the gratitude is present without question. You know it. That's when your belief matches your experience-- and you've found the Truth.
We do a lot of mantra in our kids yoga and meditation programs (as well as in our adult classes), and parents often wonder what it is and why we do it. Mantras are fun-- and, like learning another language, best started when we're young!
What are mantras? They are messages that we repeat in our heads. For example, mantra in your child’s head could sound like: “I can’t do that”, “I’m not smart”, “She’s better than me”, “I’m fat”. Or: "I'm clever", "I'm better than him", "I'm good at this", "I'm cute". Even positive messages could be internalized in a negative way, for example, “you’re so cute” may not feel good if s/he doesn't want to be "cute" or simply wants to be acknowledged for more than how they look. Negative mantras carry a low frequency, and we seek to connect with higher vibrations.
In the ancient, sacred, poetic language of Gurmukhi— sometimes called “the funny words” by our kids —the high vibratory frequencies of kundalini mantras uplift, center, ground, clear, and strengthen the connection to one’s own inner voice or intuition. Repetition of these mantras serve to ingrain positive beliefs in oneself. Here are just a few of the translations that these mantras seed:
What a great vocabulary to add to your child’s repertoire! Like getting your daily vitamins. And loving hugs. And blessings from the Universe. All in one. This is a powerful and conscientious reason to teach our kids mantra-- Sat Nam! ❤️
Awhile back I reflected on the fact that I wasn't a very generous person. Somehow, merely acknowledging this "out loud" has helped me to take the next step seemingly without effort.... to become a more generous person.
One of the items on the list from the link I shared in that post was to spend time with a generous person. And to embrace gratitude. I read the list and, to be honest, did not set out to do these things. Like I said, it was as if just putting the acknowledgment out there set my mind-- or rather, heart --in motion. I have found that, through my yoga community, I did in fact surround myself with generous people. People who volunteer to make yogi tea, those who fill the studio and even the space by our front door with plants and also care for them, those who take the garbage out and clean it, some bring delicious & healthy food to share, and much more.
I have watched and marveled at the ongoing generosity-- and have truly felt enormous gratitude for the time and efforts of each. I have discovered that that feeling of gratitude for those who give of themselves generously has shifted my own attitude towards how I value and spend my time and efforts. This is what makes a community and a life. The return on investment has no measure.
In yoga we often talk about elevating our consciousness. We know that throughout our lives, there are moments when we have become more aware of things going on in ourselves or in our world. Those Aha! moments.
There is a yogic concept that has meant alot to me-- a definite Aha moment...
The idea of a seed containing all the information that it needs to become what it was meant to become. Think about that.
Take a moment to look at an apple (or other) seed. Consider how this little seed will become a full-grown tree producing delicious apples simply because it is written or coded within that seed. It isn't trying to become a lemon tree or a pine tree or a Sequoia. It couldn't! If it had our human capacities to try to change itself, it would be a miserable little seed going after a futile, ego-centered goal.
Think about this as a human being and that we also have a "seed"-- it is our creative source. When we go against our soul's purpose, as is coded within our seed, things do not flow, things come out sideways. Even our cleverness cannot fool the soul, although it might fool others and even yourself.....for awhile. This is when dis-ease sets in-- physically, mentally, spiritually.
The reason this is so remarkable is if you consider all the struggles we go through in our lives to find meaning and direction, to get out of our own way, to get to our flow or "in the zone" so that life will be easier and more meaningful. I'm not saying it isn't hard work if we're in that space, but there is a lot more ease and joy and much less inner conflict or obstacles to living our lives when we are.
This concept I understand through the mantra Har Haray Haree. Har refers to the seed; Haray the flow or growth; and Haree the manifestation of that seed.
I love this concept! Just being aware of this helps to see more clearly and motivates me to do the things I need to do to stay connected with that "seed" (Hint: it's about your ability to still yourself enough to listen from the inside and gain that inner peace. [See the “Happiness Is Your Natural State- a mantra” post]).
All of this does lead me to wonder though….. What about seedless fruit? Here's a video I found about it. Perhaps I won't be going for that convenience any longer. What do you think about all of this?
"Happiness is your natural state." -GuruMeher, in his book Senses of the Soul.
I define happiness as a baseline of inner peace. A space where you have total equanimity no matter what the tides bring in. Happiness is not all flowery and giddy smiles and like everything is a party. Sometimes there could be anger and sadness, and still there is happiness.
This might be easier to understand in the opposite state: Sometimes on the outside you appear happy-- and might actually be feeling happy in a moment, for instance during a celebration or having met a goal --but inside, you don't actually feel peaceful, you might feel as if you are only projecting a fake happy. How's that?
"Happiness is your natural state". Why is this a good mantra? We don't always pay attention to our emotions when they alert us, and emotions are our friends. They are there specifically to guide us, just like our sense of touch guides us away from the hot stove. Repeat the mantra to help you remember: whenever you find yourself in a state of feeling Not Happy, or that state of inner peace is disturbed or not to be found, ask yourself: "What am I feeling?" Knowing that happiness is your natural state, then “not happy” means you have something to check in on.
Respect the senses, identify your emotions. They will always lead you toward the right path.
A kriya for releasing your emotional patterns and programming:
Working on your frontal lobe helps you release stuck negative emotional memory-- or the patterns and programming from your childhood and into adulthood that harden and form your personality. Negative emotions get lodged in the body creating physical pains while the patterns and programming harden in the frontal lobe. Try this kriya below to help relax and loosen that stuck emotional memory.
Here’s a great article relating to this: Kundalini Yoga and the Frontal Lobe : Navigating Overwhelming Emotions.
When you interview for a job, a common question asked is: what are your shortcomings? Interview coaches will use the example of perfectionism as “a positive shortcoming”. While it’s considered a fault, it also sounds like you strive for better. How is that really a fault?
Seth Godin recently put out a post called “On feeling incompetent” (--it’s worth reading!). At some point, we get tired of feeling incompetent. This is where I found myself.
I was anxious over the quality of my work-- or of me. While I didn’t realize I felt incompetent, I felt like my work was not good enough, even though people supported and praised the work I did. Could they not see the faults in my work?
This feeling made it very difficult to pursue my work with any consistency. I would have bursts of feeling productive and profound, followed by a lot of debilitating, “I have no idea what I am doing. I’ll never make it.“.
I wanted my work to be perfect. My problem wasn’t lack of talent or skills; my problem was that my need to perfectly think through every possible angle was insatiable. This was highly unproductive and a waste of time and energy. And I was tired of feeling incompetent....though it pushed me at last to change.
Perfection may perhaps be necessary in certain types of work like creating tools for safety such as designing a seatbelt. But for most, perfectionism is not at all helpful. Good enough is a lot better than you think. It has been said that bringing a bit more wisdom-- just a mere 1% --to the person seeking your message or service is all that is necessary to make a difference.
So is perfectionism truly a fault? While I might have made sufficient contributions in my past work, I feel it safe to say that I could have brought a lot more value and had a lot more fun then, without the bondage of perfectionism to which I was shackled.
Last Sunday in my kids yoga classes, we became gardeners-- or rather, we figured out that we are gardeners already......of our individual gardens called Self. To take care of that "Self", we eat healthy, drink water, get sun, sleep, eliminate, brush teeth, play, do yoga, etc. Another main component of a healthy garden: Love. When we chant or sing in yoga class, this is a radiant way for us to infuse Love into our gardens.
Then we got our hands dirty and learned from our Master Gardener how to grow microgreens, starting with rooting ourselves with a grounding chant. What a treat to see the children planting themselves metaphorically and then delve into the whole microgreen-gardening work. The kids wisely chimed in with gardening tips, showing us clearly that they know how to care for plants!
We began with the soil. We know: a healthy soil needs nutrients and oxygen, water and sun, and a well-maintained microbiome free of harmful stressors. This soil provides the infrastructure to support and nurture plants which in turn provides oxygen for our Earth and all living beings. This activity got them involved in every aspect of planting from preparing the soil, to watering, to planting the seeds in a special way involving pressure from their hands. In a couple weeks, we will harvest together with the kids and taste the fruits of our labor. It will surely be delicious with the extra kid-love poured in!
Mamas, consider that WE are the soil for our children-- who are like our plants. And our body’s microbiome is influenced by external inputs such as our diet, the environment, and stress factors on our physical-spiritual-emotional well-being. (Dads, this applies to you as well yet I focus this writing on our maternal nature--the nurturing, mothering side of all of us).
Do we provide healthy soil to support and nurture our children? In order to BE healthy soil in which our little ones can set roots and from which they can grow and blossom, consider how a gardener tends her land: with love, wisdom, attention. So, we parents must tend our own lands so that our kids can grow strong and connected, and in turn, bless our world with their fruits, their gifts.
This is called self-care. Essential for mamas. Essential for All.
What does this look like for you? Is your soil rich or depleting of nutrients? Is this something you’ve consciously built into your life, to consistently tend to the foundations of your growing garden? Do you make time to water, feed and weed? Or do you struggle with putting your own care first? Do you feel supported in caring for your soil…..your soul….. YOU?
As moms, our gardening is often focused directly on the plants themselves-- our beautiful children. It can be hard to see below the surface that issues most often lay in the health of the soil, the health of our own Self. We know how important the soil is for our trees and our Earth. As is the macrocosm, so is the microcosm. Treat all with loving care, and begin with you.
Need help with your self-care plan? Don’t know where to start? Click here for a mudra-in-motion mantra meditation to call upon your nurturing, strong, divine feminine energy, or your Mother Power: the Adi Shakti mantra. For consult, reach out to me or find a coach or mentor with whom you resonate.
The plants we nurture from our own healthy soil help us to breathe, and all, in turn, create and inspire healthier gardens for a peaceful Earth.
I am a mama, an intentional storyteller, a celestial communicator, a spiritual teacher, and a lover of stories of all kinds, in all forms. I write about parenting, natural health options, mind-body-soul connections, and anything that elevates our lives.