Where there is darkness, there is also light.
Where there is fear, there is also love.
I've heard the encouraging and loving words of parents telling their kids: in the midst of tragedy, look for the people who are helping. In other words, look for the light amidst darkness, the love amidst fear.
This idea that there is always love on the other side of fear may not feel clear or even possible when you find yourself feeling fearful. Stressed, anxious, sad, shamed, guilty, angry, scared.....it's all based in fear. (All true and valid emotions, by the way, doing their work to alert you that something is not aligned with you and needs your attention).
Whenever I notice -- as soon as I catch myself -- caught up in fear, this is a reminder for me to come to my breath. I have a few go-to breath meditations I like to use but just the very simple: close my eyes and take long deep breaths -is all I truly need. Do this for as long as you need until you feel calm and can respond (as opposed to react) to the fear....and amazingly the Monster Fear becomes a much tamer beast. And in that space, I can look for the Love.
To develop the habit of letting fear be a trigger to come to my breath, I made it a conscious daily practice for a number of days in a row to notice the fears popping up in my life-- big and small....there were plenty. The house is a mess and I'm angry at all those who contributed to it. Breathe deeply. My kids are squabbling endlessly over seemingly nothing and I don't know how to get them to stop (I'm irritated). Breathe deeply. The dishes I did not use are piled in the sink (I'm resentful). Breathe deeply. My spouse made a hurtful comment. Breathe deeply. My boss was super-critical of something I put alot of effort into. Breathe deeply. The news is deeply disturbing and threatening my peace of mind. Breathe deeply. I haven't finished my class preparations and I'm running out of time. Breathe deeply.
Each of these moments created a fear for me and I practiced noticing them. I would not have considered them fear in the past but noticing them made it possible to look at them differently.
When you can make it a regular practice to notice and find your calm through your breath, you develop the ability to do this every time, especially when your fear is maximized. From a calm place, you can then make the choice to see the situations from Love-- which is really the only Truth in life. Fearful, ugly things happen but when you get to the bottom of it, you will find a lack of love that was the cause. So finding the Love is like turning on the light switch.
Look for the people helping.
Look for your Self helping.
Look for the Love.
Create space by letting your mind release all of it. (Don't worry, you'll bring it back.....the necessary parts). For now, just let go and only focus on your breath. Your breath is everything.
Now..... bare bones. That's it. Forget all the rest.... all those extra elements that will make your creation outstanding.... for now, it's gravy. Keep the foundation and be sure it's solid. That's it.
When you are ready and your friend Overwhelm has said goodbye, smile and embrace those extras one at a time. Don't open the floodgates. Take the time to welcome and connect each new addition to your project. Savor and delight in them. Or thank them for coming and let them go.
Sometimes I make the wrong decisions. I know that I am as I'm making it.
What is that?!
It's nervous energy. It's fear. It's discomfort. It's knowing what it is and not wanting to face it. Feeling an insurmountable obstacle to tackle.
The poor choice didn't seem to have any real ill effects. Except maybe that my day might have looked different if I chose self-love instead of self-sabotage. If I chose the healing meditation that would've set me on course for a better decision. If I reached for my balancing oil and let it work my nervous system to peace. But of course my oil wasn't right next to me. I resisted the meditation (which my oil would've helped release).
There's never a wrong move, to be honest. I needed the reminder which this small regret gave me. Today, I hold my oil. Today, I do that kriya. Today, I embrace the meditation. My compassion and love for myself, for my Soul, swells.
I saw this journal in a bookstore and this bracket caught my eye. If you’re feeling a bit of Sadness, what a "fun" way to embrace it. My bracket’s championship match-up was: Meltdown vs Overusing the Internet. 😵 How about you?
Alot of possible emotional states are represented here, folded under the umbrella of “Sadness”. In its “fun” way, as I couldn’t really pinpoint why I felt this low-grade sense of “Sadness”, it gave me a chance to feel which ones were really present with me at the moment and which ones were not. Then I could really dig deep and treat the “weeds” creating the sense of “Sadness”. Why do I want to do this? It clears blocks and attitudes of self-sabotage that I’m not always aware I’m living with, deciding with, being dragged down by…...
It’s easy to fall back on what we know, what we grew up with, even when we know what we really want for our children is different. But how has that been working for you? If you feel at peace with the ease of "what you know", then you’re okay. Easy is great when it’s connected to your sense of truth. If you’re suffering inside, then easy will become the messy or traumatic challenges to face later.
Cultivate your power.
Be the spiritual warrior you were meant to be.
Dig deep and do your part.
Our Earth needs more fresh air to breathe!
Here is one of my favorite third chakra kundalini yoga kriyas to help you develop your personal power and act on your meaningful life: Advanced Abdominal &Navel Strengthening. Sat Nam!
On more than one occasion, when my children were toddlers, I would ask our pediatrician specific questions to which he would answer, "You're the mom, you know best."
“Ummmm, YOU are the doctor. What the *$@! did I come to you for?”
While I didn't say this out loud, I do remember thinking "Whaaaat?" I was confused! My next thought was a mental pleading, “Please, please just tell me what to do. Please”. Yet, all that came out of my mouth was, "I know but do I know best?"
He was certain, but why wasn’t I?
After awhile, spending some time being a bit pissed off at my useless doctor*, I calmed down and tried. To know best.
First of all, I specifically picked this doctor because he was pro-breastfeeding and generally a parent-supporting doctor, meaning he supported your decisions even if they were off the mainstream medical trail. But I didn’t pick this doctor so that he can tell me to go get my own answers. Seriously, how the *&@! was I supposed to know what to do, especially when facing challenges I couldn't have even imagined previous to becoming a mom. Unless you have an experienced child expert living with you, you can’t have all the answers……. Can you?
The answer? Yes, yes you can.
It’s the most annoying answer in the world but it’s true: the child expert is living within you. The problem is, this expert isn’t always answering your questions, or even listening. As a parent, your job is to learn how to access this inner wisdom when you need help. Furthermore, to learn how to cultivate trust and confidence in this voice.
You can gain perspective by reading parenting help books and blogs or attending parenting workshops, meetings or playdates. But in order to strengthen your relationship with your personal child expert, you need more than perspective and knowledge. You need a clear connection. It’s like calling your very own 311 operator for helpful information from your current and ancestral life’s experiences who knows exactly how you want to raise your child, what variety of experiences informs your decisions, and whether to go right or left.
To establish a clear connection with your personal child expert, you start by learning to connect with your breath and to quiet your mind. Remove the static so you can begin to hear. Use simple tools to practice keeping this connection open and learn how to trust by taking action. Through experience and cultivating this relationship, you will find that you are able to respond to situations as a confident, decisive parent.
Get to know your inner guide and it’ll take you down a path that will not only help you parent better but will help you to BE better. A whole human being…. that happens to be an amazing parent.
I use my connection with my own personal child expert as well as my experiences as a certified kundalini yoga instructor and mom to empower parents to listen to and trust that voice inside of us. Through coaching, meditation and practice your own personal child expert will grow in confidence, as will your faith in your abilities to be that parent you always dreamed you would be.
Contact me today to schedule your complimentary 15 minute consultation.
The Parent Elevator - raising healthy, happy parents
*Note: my doctor was amazing and gave me the first step towards believing in myself. He essentially lifted up parents to trust in themselves even if that meant he saw his patients less. So grateful for people like this.
This Age you will all serve is an Age of Awareness, an Age of Experience. This transition to that Age began in the Piscean Age. The Piscean motto was: "I want to know. I need to learn." The Aquarian motto is: "I know. I want to experience." You will have to deliver experience to everyone. And you must deliver the experience to your self each day. That is Sadhana, and for that we have a technique.
I typically enjoy engaging in deep discussions about religion-- often with like-minded friends but sometimes not. I see the hypocrisy within so much of organized religion, particularly as people are trying to espouse the reasons why their religion is right and others are wrong. Why is it so hard to accept that there is one God to whom we all connect in our own ways?
Honestly, I do have more extensive beliefs on the matter but, generally speaking, if you find the connection and it serves your higher Self, bless you and may Peace and Abundance fill you and the world around you!
The crux of the matter is not about who's right or wrong or how you grew up or what your parents or other external influences want you to believe or even how it has shaped your life thus far. It is about "the experience".
I meditate and do my kundalini yoga to prepare for deeper meditations in order to be more connected with the Universe and feel stronger, aligned, inspired and more clear. I know it works because I experience the transformative effects on my body, heart and mind--and the feeling of pure bliss. I experience the changes in my ability to hold equanimity throughout my days and the sensation of "not reacting" (detachment) and compassion.
Does your spiritual belief give you the experience of peace, joy and bliss? Of abundance? Of Oneness with others, with our Universe? If you're not sure what "experience" I am speaking of, you may need to shift your focus and delve deeper. Once you've experienced "the experience", the spiritual high and the gratitude is present without question. You know it. That's when your belief matches your experience-- and you've found the Truth.
We do a lot of mantra in our kids yoga and meditation programs (as well as in our adult classes), and parents often wonder what it is and why we do it. Mantras are fun-- and, like learning another language, best started when we're young!
What are mantras? They are messages that we repeat in our heads. For example, mantra in your child’s head could sound like: “I can’t do that”, “I’m not smart”, “She’s better than me”, “I’m fat”. Or: "I'm clever", "I'm better than him", "I'm good at this", "I'm cute". Even positive messages could be internalized in a negative way, for example, “you’re so cute” may not feel good if s/he doesn't want to be "cute" or simply wants to be acknowledged for more than how they look. Negative mantras carry a low frequency, and we seek to connect with higher vibrations.
In the ancient, sacred, poetic language of Gurmukhi— sometimes called “the funny words” by our kids —the high vibratory frequencies of kundalini mantras uplift, center, ground, clear, and strengthen the connection to one’s own inner voice or intuition. Repetition of these mantras serve to ingrain positive beliefs in oneself. Here are just a few of the translations that these mantras seed:
What a great vocabulary to add to your child’s repertoire! Like getting your daily vitamins. And loving hugs. And blessings from the Universe. All in one. This is a powerful and conscientious reason to teach our kids mantra-- Sat Nam! ❤️
Awhile back I reflected on the fact that I wasn't a very generous person. Somehow, merely acknowledging this "out loud" has helped me to take the next step seemingly without effort.... to become a more generous person.
One of the items on the list from the link I shared in that post was to spend time with a generous person. And to embrace gratitude. I read the list and, to be honest, did not set out to do these things. Like I said, it was as if just putting the acknowledgment out there set my mind-- or rather, heart --in motion. I have found that, through my yoga community, I did in fact surround myself with generous people. People who volunteer to make yogi tea, those who fill the studio and even the space by our front door with plants and also care for them, those who take the garbage out and clean it, some bring delicious & healthy food to share, and much more.
I have watched and marveled at the ongoing generosity-- and have truly felt enormous gratitude for the time and efforts of each. I have discovered that that feeling of gratitude for those who give of themselves generously has shifted my own attitude towards how I value and spend my time and efforts. This is what makes a community and a life. The return on investment has no measure.
I am a mama, an intentional storyteller, a celestial communicator, a spiritual teacher, and a lover of stories of all kinds, in all forms. I write about parenting, natural health options, mind-body-soul connections, and anything that elevates our lives.