It’s easy to fall back on what we know, what we grew up with, even when we know what we really want for our children is different. But how has that been working for you? If you feel at peace with the ease of "what you know", then you’re okay. Easy is great when it’s connected to your sense of truth. If you’re suffering inside, then easy will become the messy or traumatic challenges to face later.
On more than one occasion, when my children were toddlers, I would ask our pediatrician specific questions to which he would answer, "You're the mom, you know best."
“Ummmm, YOU are the doctor. What the *$@! did I come to you for?”
While I didn't say this out loud, I do remember thinking "Whaaaat?" I was confused! My next thought was a mental pleading, “Please, please just tell me what to do. Please”. Yet, all that came out of my mouth was, "I know but do I know best?"
He was certain, but why wasn’t I?
After awhile, spending some time being a bit pissed off at my useless doctor*, I calmed down and tried. To know best.
First of all, I specifically picked this doctor because he was pro-breastfeeding and generally a parent-supporting doctor, meaning he supported your decisions even if they were off the mainstream medical trail. But I didn’t pick this doctor so that he can tell me to go get my own answers. Seriously, how the *&@! was I supposed to know what to do, especially when facing challenges I couldn't have even imagined previous to becoming a mom. Unless you have an experienced child expert living with you, you can’t have all the answers……. Can you?
The answer? Yes, yes you can.
It’s the most annoying answer in the world but it’s true: the child expert is living within you. The problem is, this expert isn’t always answering your questions, or even listening. As a parent, your job is to learn how to access this inner wisdom when you need help. Furthermore, to learn how to cultivate trust and confidence in this voice.
You can gain perspective by reading parenting help books and blogs or attending parenting workshops, meetings or playdates. But in order to strengthen your relationship with your personal child expert, you need more than perspective and knowledge. You need a clear connection. It’s like calling your very own 311 operator for helpful information from your current and ancestral life’s experiences who knows exactly how you want to raise your child, what variety of experiences informs your decisions, and whether to go right or left.
To establish a clear connection with your personal child expert, you start by learning to connect with your breath and to quiet your mind. Remove the static so you can begin to hear. Use simple tools to practice keeping this connection open and learn how to trust by taking action. Through experience and cultivating this relationship, you will find that you are able to respond to situations as a confident, decisive parent.
Get to know your inner guide and it’ll take you down a path that will not only help you parent better but will help you to BE better. A whole human being…. that happens to be an amazing parent.
I use my connection with my own personal child expert as well as my experiences as a certified kundalini yoga instructor and mom to empower parents to listen to and trust that voice inside of us. Through coaching, meditation and practice your own personal child expert will grow in confidence, as will your faith in your abilities to be that parent you always dreamed you would be.
Contact me today to schedule your complimentary 15 minute consultation.
The Parent Elevator - raising healthy, happy parents
*Note: my doctor was amazing and gave me the first step towards believing in myself. He essentially lifted up parents to trust in themselves even if that meant he saw his patients less. So grateful for people like this.
We do a lot of mantra in our kids yoga and meditation programs (as well as in our adult classes), and parents often wonder what it is and why we do it. Mantras are fun-- and, like learning another language, best started when we're young!
What are mantras? They are messages that we repeat in our heads. For example, mantra in your child’s head could sound like: “I can’t do that”, “I’m not smart”, “She’s better than me”, “I’m fat”. Or: "I'm clever", "I'm better than him", "I'm good at this", "I'm cute". Even positive messages could be internalized in a negative way, for example, “you’re so cute” may not feel good if s/he doesn't want to be "cute" or simply wants to be acknowledged for more than how they look. Negative mantras carry a low frequency, and we seek to connect with higher vibrations.
In the ancient, sacred, poetic language of Gurmukhi— sometimes called “the funny words” by our kids —the high vibratory frequencies of kundalini mantras uplift, center, ground, clear, and strengthen the connection to one’s own inner voice or intuition. Repetition of these mantras serve to ingrain positive beliefs in oneself. Here are just a few of the translations that these mantras seed:
What a great vocabulary to add to your child’s repertoire! Like getting your daily vitamins. And loving hugs. And blessings from the Universe. All in one. This is a powerful and conscientious reason to teach our kids mantra-- Sat Nam! ❤️
Last Sunday in my kids yoga classes, we became gardeners-- or rather, we figured out that we are gardeners already......of our individual gardens called Self. To take care of that "Self", we eat healthy, drink water, get sun, sleep, eliminate, brush teeth, play, do yoga, etc. Another main component of a healthy garden: Love. When we chant or sing in yoga class, this is a radiant way for us to infuse Love into our gardens.
Then we got our hands dirty and learned from our Master Gardener how to grow microgreens, starting with rooting ourselves with a grounding chant. What a treat to see the children planting themselves metaphorically and then delve into the whole microgreen-gardening work. The kids wisely chimed in with gardening tips, showing us clearly that they know how to care for plants!
We began with the soil. We know: a healthy soil needs nutrients and oxygen, water and sun, and a well-maintained microbiome free of harmful stressors. This soil provides the infrastructure to support and nurture plants which in turn provides oxygen for our Earth and all living beings. This activity got them involved in every aspect of planting from preparing the soil, to watering, to planting the seeds in a special way involving pressure from their hands. In a couple weeks, we will harvest together with the kids and taste the fruits of our labor. It will surely be delicious with the extra kid-love poured in!
Mamas, consider that WE are the soil for our children-- who are like our plants. And our body’s microbiome is influenced by external inputs such as our diet, the environment, and stress factors on our physical-spiritual-emotional well-being. (Dads, this applies to you as well yet I focus this writing on our maternal nature--the nurturing, mothering side of all of us).
Do we provide healthy soil to support and nurture our children? In order to BE healthy soil in which our little ones can set roots and from which they can grow and blossom, consider how a gardener tends her land: with love, wisdom, attention. So, we parents must tend our own lands so that our kids can grow strong and connected, and in turn, bless our world with their fruits, their gifts.
This is called self-care. Essential for mamas. Essential for All.
What does this look like for you? Is your soil rich or depleting of nutrients? Is this something you’ve consciously built into your life, to consistently tend to the foundations of your growing garden? Do you make time to water, feed and weed? Or do you struggle with putting your own care first? Do you feel supported in caring for your soil…..your soul….. YOU?
As moms, our gardening is often focused directly on the plants themselves-- our beautiful children. It can be hard to see below the surface that issues most often lay in the health of the soil, the health of our own Self. We know how important the soil is for our trees and our Earth. As is the macrocosm, so is the microcosm. Treat all with loving care, and begin with you.
Need help with your self-care plan? Don’t know where to start? Click here for a mudra-in-motion mantra meditation to call upon your nurturing, strong, divine feminine energy, or your Mother Power: the Adi Shakti mantra. For consult, reach out to me or find a coach or mentor with whom you resonate.
The plants we nurture from our own healthy soil help us to breathe, and all, in turn, create and inspire healthier gardens for a peaceful Earth.
I am a mama, an intentional storyteller, a celestial communicator, a spiritual teacher, and a lover of stories of all kinds, in all forms. I write about parenting, natural health options, mind-body-soul connections, and anything that elevates our lives.